Since our son Isaac has been home with us, we have kept his birthparent's name in our conversations. We'll pray for them and talk about them, have him draw pictures for them. We talk to him about other people we know that are adopted, including Superman and Unlce Ben (my little brother), and me. It hasn't been until recently that he's become active in those conversations, interjecting his own thoughts.
As he's gotten older, we have talked about how he came from C's tummy, and Alex came from Momma's tummy. We tell him how much C and J loved him, and that they wanted him to live with us and be happy. Isaac has C's eyes when he smiles, and glistens of red in his hair from J. It's so intriguing to my husband and I seeing his personality explode, and wondering who he got different facets of it from, C or J.
A trait that we know firmly came from his birth mother is dancing. She was a professionally trained dancer in many styles, from ballet, tap, jazz, and hip-hop. When we met her, she shared her love and passion for dancing with us, and I'm so glad she did, because it has come out in Isaac. Anytime there is music, his little hiney get's to wiggling, or his arms start moving, even if its when we're standing in line at the post office!
A few times a week, while we're cleaning up from dinner and have time before our bath and bedtime routine, we'll put on a toddler station on Pandora, or play a few of his favorite songs we have, "Happy" by Pharrell (from Despicable Me), or "Wobble" by Family Force 5. These evening dance parties are some of my favorite times with my three guys, because everyone is dancing, silly Daddy, and Alexander will crawl around bopping his head to the music. On one of our more recent dance parties, we told Isaac that he was such a good dancer, and he said, "Yes like C!". It took us by surprise, but our hearts were full, because yes, it was indeed a piece of C coming out in him.
I am so encouraged that he is starting to make connections to his life from the things that we tell him about his birthparents. I pray that we as parents will continue to encourage HIS personality, even if it stretches our comfort level as parents, because there is nothing more precious then seeing him grow and change in ways we would have never believed.